I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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