Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
