I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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