There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
vagina is talking i cant
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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