If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
