So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
