I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
