come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
