I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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