He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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