i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
