I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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