It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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