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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed

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• (206): View more from Washington

  would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?

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• (661): View more from California

  Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT

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• (214): View more from Texas

  You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere

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• (904): View more from Florida

  A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.

  (904): View more from Florida

  I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine

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