and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine