Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow