so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
