He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.