Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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