lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize