Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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