She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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