Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
