I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
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she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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