WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
