How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
