Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
