is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
