so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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