3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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