I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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