Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
