told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
