I think I died a long time ago.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
