I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The best revenge is premature balding
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
