The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
