I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
