ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
