I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
