I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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