1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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