Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
