my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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