I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
