i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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