I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
