3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
