Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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