omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize