I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize