So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
MIDGETS
????
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
