It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
