Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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