we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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