rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
