you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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