garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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