i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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