Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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