Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
