the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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