96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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