Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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