i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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