I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
