Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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