Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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