So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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