ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
